Monday, 25 February 2013

Routines and redundancies

I've had an exciting time recently. U Glasgow invited me as their first colloquium speaker for the year, and we have interesting career-developing activities going on here.

It has also been about a week's worth of scheduling SNAFUs and multiple tasks and interests pulling me in different directions. Distressingly so.

I don't deal very well with sudden schedule changes in the best of cases. If something suddenly comes up and changes my expectations of stuff, I react badly to the change. Even when my expectations are based in an erroneous memory or worldview.

This past weekend has been bad for me. The Glasgow visit pegged my capacity for extroverted socializing and strained my energy levels. After returning, I foolishly tried to make it out to a friend's party the same night. And so was overcommitted and stressed out when for the first time in almost half a week I could have talked to Susanne.

Saturday was a complete waste. I argued with Susanne, because of the stress. And I didn't enjoy the party because I had spent all my energy already: on the colloquium, on the travel, on preparing, on arguing. I shouldn't have gone, but didn't realize until I had already been at the party for a while.

And today, I still do not feel entirely restored. I had bad dreams this night, and I am sitting at my desk, trying to prepare for our reading group in just over an hour, and more and more I feel that a more sensible place for me is curled up under my desk, hiding from the world.

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