You know the saying about how when a noise suddenly stops is the first time you can perceive how loud it was?
I have been now on a combination of fluoxetin and voxra/wellbutrin for about 2 months. And I realize thinking back on the recent weeks that I have been feeling… normal. Or at least what I imagine normal might be like.
Gone is the constant work trying to figure out whether there were any subtexts I should have picked up on.
Gone is the constant worry someone, somewhere might not like me and what I do as much as I hope they do.
Gone is the constant conviction that nobody, nowhere, actually likes me particularly much.
I feel now that what I observe is far more in harmony with how I represent it internally. People's emotional states match up better with what I think that they are.