Sunday, 8 December 2013

Vignette: No Joy

I would not say I have been doing too well the last few weeks.  Had a bad week a couple of weeks ago.

A lot of the time I tell myself "I want to kill myself" and "I am the worst person in the world."  It's a mental tic, not reality. I don't want to kill myself and I don't think I am the worst person in the world.

Yesterday I realised towards the end of the day that I'd had no joy in the day.  Which was odd.  I realised that very often even when I'm miserable - unless I am really bad - I have moments of joy even if it's just sharing a good joke.  Yesterday I seemed to be just at a level where I wasn't deeply miserable all day, but nothing was good.

In the end I did think of some joy I'd had, so that was nice.

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