Today, two biggish things happened with respect to my depression.
For one thing, my therapy session seemed to penetrate … something. I shed a large load of anxiety there — we spent the session examining sources of my anxiety and discussing the need for me to recognize my own intrinsic worth instead of expecting and depending on external valuation and validation.
Something in all of that clicked (my cynical side wants to say that it was when the therapist told me I have worth: producing an external valuation to use) a little bit, and the rest of the day has been low on anxiety.
For another thing: the grass was pretty. I was walking along the nicely wooded walkway home, and the low sun was streaking across the malls at a very low angle, so that the individual leaves and leafs in the lawn gleamed with a seemingly inner glow. It was so beautiful I just walked along with a soft smile playing on my lips the entire way home.
I cannot remember the last time I just smiled away on my own because I was content and happy in the moment.