I haven't written here for a while, and I probably should have. But then again, I should stop feeling so guilty all the time. :-P
I got picked up by the Huddinge Hospital unit for affective disorders -- they do a sort of an outreach programme to help other medical personal deal with affective-spectrum patients. So I now see a psychiatrist at the university hospital expert unit for Bipolar 2. So far, I have been really impressed with that contact.
December has been exceptionally crappy. My new psychiatrist switched me from fluoxetin+wellbutrin to lamotrigin (anti-epilepticum with recognized use for mood stabilization with bipolars). Stepping off of the SSRI/NDRI cocktail was painful, with almost a week lost in back-to-back anxiety pangs. Then I stepped straight from there to a round with the flu that had me floored for a week. I'm slowly getting back to sensible speeds again, but it is slow running, and not particularly comfortable en route.
As for mood, I feel like a wad of cotton has been removed. I feel clearer, brighter, and more ... interested in things. I also have re-acquired my sudden, unexplainable and deep anxiety/sadness blips where I crash out over a time period of a few minutes, and then after spending up to maybe 30-45 minutes as a tearful wreck suddenly return to normal about as quickly. It's disorienting, and a bit of a strain for the people around me, but I hope that as we ramp up lamotrigin these blips will reduce in frequency.
That's it at the end of 2014. Happy holidays all y'all.