Wednesday, 27 May 2015

Constant Anxiety is Very Draining

I think the new thing when I went off sick 8 months ago was anxiety. I mean anxiety as a clinical condition instead of anxiety the thing you experience every day. The clinical condition is of course really the same thing, but overdone by your brain and body.

I've been wanting to write this post all day.  But I am finding myself very tired and with little energy to do something as write a personal depressed academics post.  I came home at lunchtime from work (though decided it wasn't a holihalfday or sick halfday since I spent a large part of the weekend getting marking done.)  I had a nap and didn't do much.  All I wanted to do was write this post.

I have been finding over the last week or so that I have been very anxious almost constantly. That means very jumpy, always being ridiculously worried about the next little thing that is coming up, feeling a pounding heart, and generally having the symptoms of anxiety.

Before you say I should see a doctor about this, I am seeing a doctor. And I am going to an anxiety management group. I think the group leader said literally (but possibly a slight variation) that "what happens in anxiety management group stays in anxiety management group", but I can say two things. It is indeed an anxiety inducing thing to start an anxiety management group. And two, I will NOT tell you who the person who sat next to me is a doppelganger for: I mean seriously, this person could get a job as a celebrity impersonator if they wanted.

I've also found over the last week, that I am getting progressively more tired. It's starting to get annoying. I mean tired is nice if you can go to bed or have a nap. But it's just draining me. This morning I was obviously very tired at the start of the day, and it didn't go away. I came home early, and a nap didn't really get me going again.  As well as getting things done at work, I've been finding it harder to get the energy to do gardening or get out for good runs, both of them being things I enjoy, are good exercise, and usually make me feel better afterwards.

A few days ago I just thought I was getting a cold or perhaps was allergic. That might be true, but what I think now is simply this:

Constant anxiety is very draining. 

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