Thursday, 14 January 2016

Me And My Brain: A Play In Three Acts

This is another guest post by Dorothy Donald.

Act One
Scene - A woman’s bedroom

BRAIN: Hey, Dorothy.
DOROTHY: …
BRAIN: Dorothy. Doooooooorothyyyyyyyy. DOROTHY!
DOROTHY: Wh’?
BRAIN: I’ve made a list of all the things you’ve done wrong recently and I would like to go over it with you in detail.
DOROTHY: What?
BRAIN: I’ve made a list. Of all the things you’ve done wrong recently. And I would like to go over it with you. In detail.
DOROTHY: It’s 4am!
BRAIN: You didn’t look busy.
DOROTHY: I was sleeping!
BRAIN: Yeah. So here’s my list. One…

Act Two
Scene - An office

DOROTHY: Hey, Brain?
BRAIN: …
DOROTHY: Brain?
BRAIN: …
DOROTHY:  BRAIN!
BRAIN: Um. Yeah. So, your query is, like, in a queue or something.
DOROTHY: What? I need you!
BRAIN: Would you like to hear the same few bars of ‘Ashes to Ashes’ over and over?
DOROTHY: No. I want you to help me. I want you to help me to not screw up. What is this? Are you angry with me because I didn’t like your 4am shit-list?
BRAIN: I am not available at this time. Please try again later.

Act Three
Scene - A woman’s bedroom


BRAIN: You didn’t do much today, did you?

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