The tweet was extremely critical of @univofstandrews management. But I don't want anyone to think that anyone asked me to delete it or hinted that would be a good idea. Please be assured if they had I would tell you :) 2/
And I think most in St Andrews who are the slightest bit interested in my opinions know how negative they are. Indeed I wrote a short piece yesterday which is not online but I'm happy to pass on to anyone at St Andrews who wants to see it. 4/
But ... apparently I'm not as brave as I thought I was when I posted the tweet.
I AM scared of negative effects on me if I had left it up, but not because of retribution direct or indirect from management. 5/
First time was when leading the Athena SWAN case for the School of Computer Science. I just couldn't get through to people that things needed to change. Failing to do that pushed me right up to the edge until my friends including head of school pulled me back. 9/
But kudos to everyone involved they did pull me back and also I think that helped get the message through - after that I'm not saying things are perfect but do feel there is a real appetite for change 10/
Next time was during the Professorial Pay Review and arguing with management about the result, both personally and trying to get through the many flaws in the process I'd identified. I did one day go home wondering if I would ever walk into the building again. 11/
Again friend and head of school tried to pull me back, I think less successfully, but Christmas came along and the doctor increased my dose of prozac, and I seemed to be ok again. (And eventually I got a stonking big pay rise which was nice). 12/
Overlapping with that was trying to help with the university Athena SWAN case. We have a glorious 600 year history of sexism so help was desperately needed. This time I never got any impression the help I wanted to give was desired. 13/
And of course the strike is super tough on all of us. And me. And the last couple of weeks have been much the worst bit for me (and I suspect for others). Last week was getting pretty bad though not as close to nervous breakdown as other times. 14/
So summary. An hour ago I posted a tweet. I stand by the content but deleted it because I was scared.
Not scared of what anyone else would do to me if I left it up, but of what I would do to myself in worrying about it.
And no, this was not in any sense a mini-thread. 18/18