I am frustrated with how my clinic is handling me this summer.
Frustrated and annoyed.
I have a significant threshold before I even get around to asking for help in the first place. I don't think I am all that ill, I don't remember the things that do happen, and I minimize my issues, procrastinating anything even vaguely like contacting health professionals.
This past spring, I finally got around to asking for help from the University clinic in Minneapolis. I got 5 therapy sessions out of the approximate month I still had left before my travels, and immediately was convinced that I do need therapy in addition to the medication I am on. So I did what I thought was the most responsible thing, and got myself an appointment to see my psychiatrist immediately upon returning to Sweden.
Booking the meeting over 2 months in advance meant that I had an easy time of getting a time slot that worked well for me.
The appointment arrived, and I show up on time to the clinic. My psychiatrist, on the other hand, was delayed. Quite a bit. She took the patients preceding me, and in order to get back on track with the schedule of the day I was shunted over to the on-call psych team.
The on-call psych team
1. could not order talk therapy
2. did not understand that I was not in the middle of a crisis
3. ended up requesting a new appointment for me
Now the new appointment has arrived. It's in September. On the same day that I am scheduled to have a work luncheon in Berkeley in the middle of my upcoming US trip.
So now I have to start all over again seeking the talk therapy it is increasingly clear I could use. The entire lead time I had is for naught. And there is that huge threshold again, getting around to even booking any sort of appointment when I keep convincing myself that they don't have time to deal with me, I'm not that ill anyway, and all these things that just delay and delay and delay my requests for help.
I thought I did everything by the book, so why didn't I get help?