Quick as a flash it comes.
I'm worthless. The things I do are bad.
But Susanne just told me how good she thinks I cook.
It'll be bad. We won't like it. I'll have spoilt an entire huge pot of food.
She praised it. What am I on about?
And I'm ugly. I'll just curl up here and hope nobody sees me.
Y'know, I am curled up in her lap. And she's kissing me.
I just want to be alone.
She's offering me food. Drinks. Candy. Kisses. Kisses are welcome. Even now.
I'm not paying attention to our movie. I'm a bad husband. I'm inattentive.
I am lying to myself.
Quick as a flash it goes. I cried a bit. I whined a bit about how I especially wanted to be good and stable tonight. And all of a sudden, it is as if nothing had happened. My face is streaked with tears, but that's just moisture by now.